Sunday, April 5, 2015

Happy Easter! 2015

Another year has gone by...and I'm still not in church on Easter Sunday. I know that some of you are probably like "How can you claim to be a Christian and not attend church on Easter Sunday???"
 I can't help it. I will attend church most other Sundays of the year (I'm a nurse--sometimes I have to work on those days) , but I can't do Easter. I think it's because I have anger management issues. I am super grateful for what Jesus Christ did for all of us, but I get really pissed off at all the people who killed him. It's a character flaw. That being said, I do not disregard the major sacrifice that Christ made for you, and for me.

Most of the time I do not like being labeled as a "Christian" because I hate to classify my love and belief in Christ through what man has created a "religion". However, Jesus is my favorite guy ever. Fanatic followers of Christ call themselves "Christians". Unfortunately, we have lost some of the fundamental meaning of what it means to be a follower of Christ. I'll explain.
Did you ever read some, or all of the old testament in the bible? God scares the crap out of me. The only way for me to wrap my head around God is through Jesus. Know why? Because Jesus loved everybody. He was the manifestation of God that made us all feel accepted, and forgiven. He hung out with all the peeps who were losers, rejects, hookers, traitors, previous murderers...pretty much the bomb. I think the most brilliant thing God ever did was make Jesus human so we could relate to Him, and so we could avoid feeling totally disgusted with ourselves and our shortcomings.
This week has been a tough week for me. I know I'm coming off a big surf vacation, and some of you are probably like, "Cry me a river--your life is so hard!" However, this vacation started the "clock". The "clock" on not knowing where to go from here.
My contract is up in Alaska in July of 2015. I know in my heart that my next move has to be based out of Colorado, but I have no idea about my job, housing, state to work in...I'm very confused. I have thrown myself into prayer this week, and asked for serious guidance. However, do you know how crappy it feels to throw up a bunch of selfish requests to God when this is the week we should just be thanking Him for sending his Son here?
This caused some conflict for me. However, I chose to focus on the fact that God sent his Son because HE LOVES ME. He cares about my needs, and through His word, I know that "all things are possible" with God. Guilt was removed, and I shot a ton of prayers up to that Guy this week. I also believe He received them.
Perhaps it is me getting older, but the more I think about my relationship with God, the more I desire His perspective on things, and not mine. I want to see beyond this. Beyond my now. Beyond tomorrow. Beyond this life. I desire God to reveal His plans for my life. I want him to help me better serve people. I want His light to shine through me and stir curiosity in people. I want to do His will.
I wanted to post this video. My pastor, Ben Todd, played this during one of his sermons, and it really hit me hard. When we get overwhelmed with things in this life, I think this is a good reminder of how to direct our focus.
I want to gain more of an eternal perspective on life. I am here for a reason. I have a divine purpose. I am a daughter of the One True King--and He loves me. I am a lucky girl!!!
I also want to leave a video of one of my favorite praise songs. I remember after one horrible night at work, after I had a terrible fetal demise, and a heartbroken family--I got off work at 7:00 am, showered, got ready for church, and this song was performed by our worship team. I was so down, and so upset, and so not understanding how horrible things can happen in this life. This life was never promised to be perfect. Our faith is strengthened by our struggles. This song lifted me up, and has been dear to my heart ever since that day.
Happy Easter. We are ALL so blessed by this day.