A whole lotta fun, with a ton of sass, and a smidge of controversy--that would be my blog. ;) I take the run-of-the-mill daily things that life deals out, and I put a little spin on them...called MY OPINION. Just something to grab a cup of coffee, and relax to. Heck...sometimes I might even make you laugh (don't drink the coffee during these moments...I'm not responsible if you spew coffee out of your nose). Also, please visit www.etsy.com/shop/arcticbarbiegirl to view my online art gallery.
I just returned from yet another FABULOUS surf trip to the North Shore, on the island of Kauai, Hawaii. It is so amazing to literally take a vacation where the only obligation is to paddle into, and catch as many waves as possible. Hanalei Bay is my favorite surf location. Not only is the surfing amazing, but the town, the people, and the spirit of ALOHA abounds there. There are so many little art galleries that showcase the local artisans' pieces there. I am always inspired when I pop into the little shops, and have a chance to admire some of the new pieces that have come about (since my last trip there).
SURF is a piece that was inspired out of my love for the sport of surfing. To me, surfing is beautiful, and powerful. It is such a challenging sport, and I love that every wave I catch has its own character, and thrill that comes with the ride.
This piece is on a 24"X20"X1.5" stretched canvas. My signature, handcrafted frame has mosaic glass pieces embedded, and is sealed with a high gloss/sparkle glaze. The surfboard, and writing are in my classic, texturized style, and the surfboard has mosaic glass embedded in the texturization as well. I use acrylic as my medium, and then seal my painting with a high gloss glaze. This painting is ready to hang. The wooden frame mounts directly onto nails--there is no need to add picture hangers. Ready to mount on any wall, and fun to touch!
I love this song. It is such a powerful anthem for the resurrection. Jesus is by far my favorite dude in the bible. Selfless. Loving. Sarcastic. Point blank with some of the things he says. Willing to make the ultimate sacrifice.
I sat in my car this morning, listening to this song, closed my eyes, and really just prayed these lyrics out from my heart. Then I found this link on YouTube, and realized that I am not the only one to ever do this. *buzz kill*
I've been struggling with some really huge realizations I've had about things this past year. It's not just one thing in particular, but literally EVERYTHING in my life. I've been forced to reflect on things that I didn't really feel like reflecting on, had to deal with loss, deal with being faced with the reality of life, and death, and having to come to some serious grips with the direction my heart is leading me at this time (as a parent/professional/individual).
Through all of this, I was also forced to look back at the huge changes that were made in my life over the past year, including my big move up to Alaska. This was not done lightly, and was done with A LOT of prayer, and asking for direction from God. I followed the direction I felt I was given, and have spent the past year REALLY struggling with that decision, and the past few months have been the worst yet.
I was really feeling let down by what I perceived as "poor direction", and "a big mistake" regarding my relocation. And I was pissed, because I sought out every step of my direction from God. I had prayed that work would improve back home in Colorado prior to my move (because I really didn't want to move)--it didn't. I had prayed that if I was meant to relocate for work, that all the pieces for that relocation would fall into place effortlessly--and they did (at least, until I hit Alaska, then it was crap).
Then the big move came--and aside from having a great job, with super dependable hours, and amazing coworkers, I've had one of the worst/hardest years of my life emotionally.
Words cannot describe how "trapped" and "isolated" you can feel when everything that you love, and care about resides thousands of miles away from you. Regardless of how frequently I've been home to be with my kids, or trips they have taken up here, or to Hawaii with me, I have never felt more disengaged as a parent, and so "aimless" as a human being.
I started to pull away from God. I started to question my faith, or how I could have faith in anything anymore, since I was allowing myself to feel misled, and forsaken. I still prayed, but half-hearted, and most of the time I would ask, "Why?...why am I here? (not like here on Earth, but why Alaska (which is like another planet to me)) Why couldn't You have made it work out in Colorado, and cut this Alaskan move out of my life completely?"
The more doors of communication I closed with God, the more isolated, helpless, and panicked I felt about my future. The burden of what lies ahead for me is huge with respect to work, family, etc.--and it is on my shoulders to direct it all. It has all been feeling like one gigantic, poorly choreographed sh*t show, and nearly impossible for me to find a stick big enough to throw into the spokes of the bicycle of life that currently feels like it's headed downhill fast.
I woke up one day, about a month ago, and forced myself to pray. Still feeling misled, angry, not particularly enamored with God, I turned on my radio in my car. I forced myself to listen to K LOVE radio (the Christian station). I found myself mocking some of the lyrics. I felt kind of like a toddler, but was still pissed at my situation, so kept it up for a day or so. However, I forced myself to keep listening. I felt so far away from God, but I felt like if I still had a line cast out in His direction, no matter how fine that line was, that if there was to be restoration of my faith, I would have a way to reel that back in and not cut it off completely.
The more I listened, the more I felt my heart start to get lighter. The heavy burden that I was carrying, the anger that I had been manifesting, the feelings of hopelessness, and self-pity--all started to dissipate. I found myself starting to turn up the radio to listen to what once were my favorite Christian songs. There were moments I started feeling connected to God again through the songs, and realizing that, although this year has been one of the hardest of my life, there really may have been real purpose to it, regardless of the misery that accompanied it.
I started to tear up to the song by Hillsong, "Oceans" when the lyrics, "You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail; and there I find You in the mystery, in oceans deep, my faith will stand..."
And then more lyrics came
"You make all things work together for my good..."
And more
"You give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, blessed be Your name, blessed be Your glorious name..."
And more
"Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me..."
I started to pray harder, and more diligently. I refused to change the radio station in my car--even if a cheeseballer Christian song came on that wasn't my fave. I decided that the rift between the pulls of good and evil in the world, with me as the middleman, were not going to pull me in the direction of self-defeat, self-pity, or negativity at the expense of losing the foundation I had built my faith, and self-worth upon.
I continue to pray very hard these days. Not just because "I need something" from God right now, but because I refuse to be that hopeless, angry, pitiful wimp that I felt like I was when I decided to temporarily give up on my faith, and be pissed at God for what I perceived as "misdirection".
What it boiled down to was my realization that, if you let darkness consume you, it will. I happen to prefer the light--which is also why I should've never moved here, because Alaska is dark as hell in the winter!
My prayer is now focused on redirection--redirection of my entire life, but more importantly, my heart. I have re-prioritized, and have my focus now set on a new course. It's not going to be easy. There are still many unknowns, and there are still many things to fall into place, but in the long run, it could actually turn into something really good for me, and super amazing for my family (in a "best of both worlds" kind of way).
I thought I was a person who was pretty strong in my faith--until I was met with the challenge of this year. It was so easy to get mad, and turn away from everything I had worked so hard to build up with my relationship with God. However, I did realize, firsthand, that no matter what, the door to God is always open, no matter how hard I try to slam it shut.
I'm thankful for the gift of Jesus Christ this Good Friday, that through Him all things are possible, and that, time and time again, it has been proven to me that
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH.
Just finished three paintings for one of my favorite yoga girls (and awesome nurse friend), Katy Owen. She was one of the first nurses I met up here in Alaska, and we drove into work together one day, and she showed me a cute knit hat she made. I asked her if she would make a couple of them for my twins for Christmas, and she delivered! They were adorable. In return, I told her I would make some paintings for her. Katy is currently looking into becoming a certified yoga instructor, and now she has some wall decor to inspire her! ;)
Katy wanted some girlie colors on her paintings, so I chose purples, pinks, and sages. The ribbon trim that lines the perimeter of each painting is what actually inspired the gradation in all of my colors.
The Aurora
Borealis (also called, "The Northern Lights") is a phenomenon that
occurs in the night sky due to the collision of energetic particles with
atoms--usually at high latitudes. The Aurora is a brilliant display of colors
across the night sky.
The Aurora Borealis is truly a sight to behold. The brilliant way that it twists, and folds through the night sky is like watching a dance. It is amazing, and it will take your breath away. It also happens to the be inspiration behind my newest painting, "Dance Of The Aurora".
This original piece is on a 48"X24"X1.5" stretched canvas. Brilliant metallic acrylic paints accentuate the raised, textured, signature style of my artwork. The painting has bright blues, greens, purples, and has a high gloss glaze for protection. The streams of light are highlighted by a sparkle gloss glaze, and is ready to mount on any wall. Eye-catching, and fun to the touch, this painting is certain to become the topic of conversation in any room.
It's that time of year again. Time to make a whole heap of unattainable promises to ourselves that we have great intention of achieving...for about three weeks.
It's a new year, right? We should all be stoked. For starters, we're all still breathing, and most of us are in one piece, so things could certainly be worse, couldn't they?
The majority of people who make resolutions break them. I actually felt like an overachiever last year, because on December 31st, I decided to give up Diet Pepsi. And I made it longer than most people would with a typical resolution...I made it until August of 2013 with not a drop of Diet Pepsi to my lips. You would think that if I had gone that long, that I was obviously cured of my love for the twisted, weird, carbonated substance. But after moving to Alaska, and going through a horrible emotional struggle of whether or not I made the right decision to do so for a job/steady income--I caved. I figured it was healthier, and cheaper than Prozac. So I'm back on the sauce.
Why is it that so many resolutions fail? And what is this January 1st thing that makes us all of the sudden become superheroes over our former selves--at least for a few weeks...leading up to us feeling like crappy human failures again?
As I tripped over the gym equipment at the huge grocery/everything store entrance up here in Wasilla, Alaska, this week, I realized that the new year would never change the way we operate. The shelves by the checkstand that were packed with Hershey's Kisses, and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups two weeks ago, were now loaded with gluten free crackers, workout DVDs, and fat free popcorn products. Are we suckers, or what?
Some of you are probably like, "Uh, Whitney, at least some of us are trying to become better at things, and not giving up on resolutions altogether."
I totally get that, and this blog is not to dog on your lofty goals of suddenly thinking that you are going to be in the next Olympiad due to your 2 hours per day at CrossFit, and since the Winter Games at Sochi are on the horizon, and if you give up Cheetos, you could be there in 2018. But it is just to evaluate where we get some of these ideas, and to possibly inspire some change that may...um...STICK.
First of all, I am not perfect, and I am keenly aware of that. Mostly because I am a perfectionist, and I piss myself off on a regular basis for falling short of perfection. I am probably my worst critic, but some of you can probably understand, and even relate to that. I am very Type A, and I like things the way I like them (very organized, and methodical), and if anyone deviates from that, they probably catch a glare or two from me, because God forbid there be two ways to do something properly in this world. I am aware of my own shortcomings, and kind of find them funny. Usually after I spend way too much time getting pissed off about them, and implement the use of my hindsight--since it's 20/20.
But now that I've rambled on, this blog is actually not about me--it's about you. Where are you at right now? Are you someone that has those "lofty goals" for the new year, or did you just forget it altogether? Or did you just fall victim to the "learned helplessness" of life, or take on a severe amount of apathy because, after many failed attempts in previous years at resolving to make things better and failing, you've forgotten how to "pick yourself up by the bootstraps", dust yourself off, and figure if you ignore the new year, it will just go away???
How about a happy medium?
Life is one of those things that has some highs, and an exorbitant amount of lows to counteract them. It makes you count your blessings. It has been this way since the beginning of time. I'm pretty sure the first time a caveman got eaten by a gorilla, or got his butt kicked by a mammoth back in the day, did not classify that as his "best moment" in this life. Nobody knows what life has to dish out, so it's up to each person to figure out how they are going to manipulate their perception of it, and turn it into something that doesn't become super dreadful for 0-118 years (not sure how old the oldest person on earth is, but 118 is pretty dang old).
So what do you "resolve" this year?
I know I ride all of you to keep up on your health. I can't help it. As a nurse who used to work on the cardiac unit, with a bunch of 40-90 somethings who had horrible issues with their hearts, lungs and kidneys due to overeating, smoking, and multiple other things, I do encourage you to make a workout, and eating right part of your daily routine. The old saying is that, "If you don't have your health, you don't have anything." However, let's just look at "quality of life" for a moment, and realize that if you can play with your kids, run a race, have a good workout at the gym without feeling like dying--you're in pretty good shape! TV is overrated. The crap on the grocery store shelves is...well..CRAP. Time to embrace YOU, and not "SETTLE" for what our society has deemed "normal". Obesity is not normal, and you only have one of each body part to keep you running properly. Choose to keep it healthy--not because it's a new year, but because you just know that that's all you've got!
Make your goals SIMPLE (because small changes are HUGE)...
Although opposed to "typical resolutions", I did make some this year...and here they are:
1): I resolve to be a better nurse. Not because I am a "bad" nurse, or an "incompetent nurse", but because I do have shortcomings in my profession. I am super bad with peoples' names. Not intentionally, but after a lot of soul searching, I've realized that, when people tell me their names, I simply don't care that that is attached to their identity. I call them, "Honey", and "Sweetie", and "Girl", or "Hon". Time to start addressing the people I take care of in a proper fashion. I am helping them bring their family into the world as a labor and delivery nurse. At the very least, I can use their real names.
2.) I resolve to address confrontation in a "softer" manner. I am a very, "This is how it is, and no matter how tough the pill is to swallow, I'm going to shove it down your throat to beat you into a better person" type of gal in my personal life. I don't have a lot of filters, and I'm finding that my delivery with some things, to the people who matter most to me, lacks a great deal, and is compromising my relationships (because naturally, I know everything--right? *WRONG*).
That's it.
Sounds simple, but who knows....
I wish you all a very happy New Year. The one thing that I do love about the new year is the concept of "starting fresh". We cut off so many things from our lives for self preservation, and I think the new year helps us face some of those things that we have "tucked away neatly" so that we can forget about them.
This life is a lesson. It is a daily choice you have to make to want to be better than where you are at right now. With that being said, isn't it time to kick a little butt and take some names? Some things are out of our control in this life. However, we are driving the boat on more than we probably give ourselves credit for.
Make this year a good one, people. Realize that you have a lot of dictation in the final outcome of things.
Life is pretty short.
Life is also pretty long, and too long to be stagnant. Don't live with constant regret, and remorse.
Resolve to do it better than you have done before right now--not just today, but every single day.
Well, unfortunately, once again, America is bored. How do I know this? Because Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty swept the headlines this week for his utterly shocking, far right, conservative Christian belief, that gay is not acceptable in the Kingdom of God. Not surprisingly--he also bumped Jesus out of the top spot in the ratings--apparently His birthday is old news compared to this epic, shocking, Duck Dynasty revelation.
Let me just start this blog off by saying that I could care less about who is more offended by Phil Robertson at this point. Conservative Christians have all been bandwagoning over to the Duck Commander side to show support for good, moral, upstanding Christian values and beliefs (and maintaining our right to use bible thumping condemnation at our leisure--the usual). I'm sure there was a slight gasp of "OMG--I can't believe he said that" throughout the gay community, while the other 98.7% of the gay community said, "Phil who?" and "What's Duck Dynasty?"
I'm a huge Duck Dynasty fan. I'm also a Christian. I also adore the gay community. Some of you might think that all of this has me really confused, and torn between which side I'm going to bandwagon over to with all of this new, earth-shattering news, about an actual Christian redneck, thinking that marriage should be kept exclusively between a man and a woman. However, rest assured, I will stay where I am always the most comfortable in this life--right on top of the fence...just like I play my politics. I have a toe dipped in the waters on the left, and a toe dipped in the waters of the right (Stand Up! Sit Down! Fight! Fight! Fight! **random, inappropriate cheerleader pop-off**
**BRIEF SYNOPSIS OF DUCK DYNASTY**
Have you ever seen the show, "Duck Dynasty"? The entire show is about a redneck family from Louisiana, that happened to become multi-bazillionaires after one of them (Phil Robertson) designed an amazing duck call, got a patent, and had a son (Willie Robertson) who was brilliant enough to eventually market it on a large scale. Then they all (The Robertson family) decided, collectively, that not only was it ironic to be a redneck, and wealthy, but that their family/friend interactions were funny enough to have their own TV show. They pitched it to A&E, and now Duck Dynasty has essentially taken over the world--or at the very least, Wal-Mart, and Sportsman's Warehouse.
All the men on the show look like the unabomber, and they are all married to Barbie doll wives. The men constantly blow things up with guns, or dynamite, and the women do what any good bazillionaires' wives would do--they look pretty, do yoga, sip champagne, get pedicures, shop, do a lot of promo/marketing for the show, and are sometimes willing to sacrifice their well manicured fingernails to help coordinate shipping duck calls (I can relate to these ladies--but I have yet to score myself a bazillionaire--DAGNABIT).
The show showcases the family's Christian values. They talk about God, and Jesus Christ, A LOT. As a matter of fact, I can't believe the Muslim community, the Atheist community, the Jewish community, and all other religious sects that aren't directly affiliated with Christianity, haven't been up in arms about the audacity of A&E to air such a show!!!!!!!! **SARCASM**
Can we all just stop for a moment? Are we really this bored? Did we ever really think that a faith-based, reality TV show family would ever condone homosexual behavior, or gay marriage? I truly feel that if you are "shocked and awed" by this, that you should probably get back to smoking your crack pipe.
Furthermore, have you ever read the bible? That sucker will have you sweating bullets with some of the things it says! Phil Robertson actually quoted a great deal DIRECTLY from the bible. And he's Christian, so it shouldn't come as a huge surprise that he's read that thingamabobber a few times, and he isn't afraid to read it out loud from time to time, and during all of his public speaking that he now does because Duck Dynasty has taken over the world.
I understand that people get their feelings hurt when they feel like other people don't like them. And I know it's hard for people to hear the second part of what Phil Robertson said, because after hearing that gay people are morally corrupt, and going to hell, it is little consolation that he still follows God's second commandment to "love others", regardless of their sinful nature. It is hard to hear someone spew venom from one side of their mouth, and then say I love you from the other side of it. It loses a little something in translation.
I guess I find the whole thing a little funny. Not like "funny ha ha", but "funny ironic". I'm sorry that gay people are feeling targeted, and I'm sorry that A&E has banned Phil from the show, but this is somewhat comical.
When are we going to learn to stop overreacting to things as a society? Everything is DRAMA! DRAMA! DRAMA! When I was starting to think of things to write in my blog, I remembered a recent story about a little 6 year-old boy, who was being charged for sexual harassment because he kissed a little girl on the hand. When are we going to stop making mountains out of mole hills, people?
Furthermore, (this is where you are going to see me dipping a toe in the other side of the water) when are Christians going to stop casting stones at others? Didn't Jesus already teach us a pretty humbling lesson about this? I know some of you are probably like, "Uh, Whitney, Jesus said, "Dudes, put down your rocks, cuz you're sinners, too, and then told that chick to "go and sin no more"". I get that, but telling a human not to sin anymore, would be like changing a one year-old's diaper, and then telling them not to poop their pants again. Really? REALLY? Puh-leez.
I also don't see where us heterosexuals get off telling gay people that they can't get married. Holy shit! 60+% of us heteros can't even get marriage to go right for us, and end up divorced, but we feel the need to tell the gay community that it is a "sacred vow that should be kept between a man and a woman"??? Seriously??? *scoff*
Not to mention that Phil Robertson has quite the jaded past, so it's ironic to hear his "born again" view point. My favorite thing in the world is someone who finds Jesus, and then thinks they can condemn everyone else's actions. **I'm lying**
Can we please just watch some ducks? Can we not really care that Phil Robertson doesn't like gay people? Can gay people realize that he is just Phil Robertson, and that what Phil Robertson has to say about gay people bears no weight on the character of the gay community? Can we all just agree that the world will likely not see a show about gay people shooting ducks, blowing up duck blinds, and ripping the legs off of bullfrogs, much like we will never see a show about Phil Robertson going on a shopping spree at Nordstrom? Why must everything be put on a political platform? IT DRIVES ME FLIPPING BANANAS!
I'm not condoning what Phil Robertson said, and I'm not saying that the gay community doesn't have grounds to be a little pissed, and have some ruffled feathers. However, can we all just take this for what it is...IT'S A REALITY TV SHOW, PEOPLE! If you want to get pissed off at something, get pissed off at TLC for making Honey Boo Boo!!!! At least THAT'S justifiable!
I just want to watch Duck Dynasty. Besides, would a man who is totally anti-gay really invent something like this?
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