Friday, June 10, 2011

PUNCH BUGGY!!!...WIPE, WIPE, WIPE. How I Sucked All The Fun Out Of My Children's Punching Game

Remember the game "Slug Bug" where you would be driving down the road, bored out of your mind, and see a VW Bug, yell out, "Slug Bug _____(insert color of car)______" and then punch the person sitting next to you (usually your sibling)??? My twins started playing that game recently. I immediately got super tired of them punching each other-- because inevitably whoever got punched would feel like they were a victim. Of course then then the "victim" child would haul off and slug the other child the next time they saw a "Punch Buggy"--and then the other one would yelp, holler, and cry.

I generally have a "no hitting your sister" policy in my house when it comes to my twin daughters. They are fraternal twins and could not be more opposite. They ALWAYS argue. As a matter of fact, I'm surprised I don't just exclusively own a pair of black stilettos and a pair of white stilettos to match the referee jersey I feel like I should be wearing at all times when around the two of them. Heck, maybe if I blew a whistle every time one of them antagonized the other they would actually listen to me. Most days I feel like a parrot. All I do is repeat myself. "ROC! Don't hit your sister. ROC! Stop kicking your sister. ROC! Quit shoving your sister." I'm surprised people haven't started throwing saltines and birdseed at me and saying, "Whitney want a cracker???".

Because I'm not a big fan of my children punching the holy living snot out of each other while I'm driving down the highway, I decided to institute the "NO PUNCHING" policy for the slug bug game. Now they can yell "Punch Buggy _____(insert color)_____!!! Wipe Wipe Wipe--but they are not allowed to hit one another. I realize that I am a fun sucker of a mother, but I'd rather have one less argument to referee, and one less child whining and crying in the backseat of my car because they just got UFC cage fighter punched by their rival twin while I was barrelling down the highway. It just makes my life easier and it lets me focus on the important things while I'm driving.

Today I pulled into the gas station for a fill-up and the girls were sitting in the back seat of the car (as they always do--I'm a big fan of keeping their heads attached to their necks should the airbags in the front seat decide to deploy). Chloe (twin #1) yelled out, "Punch Buggy yellow!!! Wipe Wipe Wipe". Then she said, "Let's just stop playing this game in Mom's car. I like playing it much more over in Dad's car." Emma (twin #2) said, "Why, Chloe?" and Chloe replied, "Because I like it a lot more over in Dad's car." Emma said, "But why, Chloe?" To which Chloe replied, "Because I can actually punch you over in Dad's car."

Ahhhhh...the love in this family abounds. Also a perfect example of where the rift in co-parenting from separate households after a divorce has proven to work quite well...NOT. ;) 

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