Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Ooops, I Did It Again: Why I Need to be Banned From Attempting to Chill Beverages in my Freezer

Thank you, Britney Spears, for giving me such an appropriate song title for my blog today. O-M-G, my inner Homer Simpson has been showing itself in full force lately. The "DOH!" factor is alive and well in the life of Whitney. If you saw my blog, ""Pardon Me, Miss, But Would You Care For Chards Of Glass With Your Merlot Tonight?": Why Tired Blonde Girls Should Be Banned From The Freezer Sometimes", you would realize that I have a tendency to put beverages in my freezer in an attempt to chill them at lightning speed, walk away thinking I will remember they are in there, and then I promptly forget, they freeze, blow up, and I'm left with a huge mess. The last time I did this I blew up a 1.5L bottle of merlot because I put it in the freezer, decided I was too tired to have a glass of wine, forgot it was in the freezer, and went to bed. There was glass EVERYWHERE, not to mention it dripped down into my refrigerator and made a huge merlot colored mess in there, too. The twins and I spent an entire morning cleaning out the entire refrigerator and freezer. It was unbelievable.

Fast forward to day before yesterday. I woke up and realized I had forgotten to chill Diet Pepsi to take to work with me. I loaded the freezer up with three cans and thought to myself, "Oh, no need to set the timer...I'll be taking one out to have on my way to work so THIS TIME I'LL REMEMBER FOR SURE THAT I HAVE SODA IN THE FREEZER!" Um...yeah. I forgot. Actually, that's not true--I remembered right as I was pulling onto C-470 to head to work. I would've been late to work if I had turned around to fix the situation, so I just kept right on driving. **insert Homer Simpson, "DOH!! DOH!! DOH!!"** Yes, I am a blonde girl. A very, very blonde girl.

I came home and opened my freezer to find exactly what I thought I would see. Holy crap--that stuff EXPLODED. Now I have a huge mess in my freezer again, and I'm out three more cans of Diet Pepsi. I am trying to figure out why I keep doing this. There HAS to be a better way for me to make things cold at rapid speed without blowing them up. Not only that, but I'm starting to really resent my entire refrigerator/freezer appliance as a whole. I'm am, however, getting really flippin' good at cleaning it out. It reminds me of that quote, "Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it". Apparently I'm "one of those" people. I am doomed, what can I say?

The good news? I'm moving in a couple of weeks and would've had to clean out the freezer again anyway. The bad news? My new house has a freezer in it and I'm sure it's just a matter of time before I start blowing up beverages in that one. Someday I'll learn to set my timer as a friendly reminder to myself that I'm chilling beverages. Someday...

I hope my blog makes people feel normal. You know--like, "Oh I'm glad I'm normal and I'm not like THAT girl." Pity if it doesn't. I really do feel like the girl in "50 First Dates". Yup. That would be me...

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