Saturday, July 16, 2011

Where, Oh Where Have We Gone Wrong? A Blog About Lowering Our Standards As A Society So We Can Be The "Cool Kids"


What is the matter with us? I’m talking about society as a whole. Where have we gone wrong? Why are all “bets off "as far as what we fill our lives, ears, and eyeballs with these days? I’m all about being “yourself”, and being "liberated"--hell, I'm a democrat for heaven's sake. However, I’m either getting older, and much more “geriatric” and "old fashioned", or I am just stunned by the stupidity of things we find acceptable to fill our lives with these days.
"Whitney, what are you lecturing us on today?" Well...I'll tell you. Call me a prude, but I've actually been switching the radio station these days when certain songs come on, as well as refusing to watch giant piles of smut that my teens think is "AWESOME" on the TV. Why? Because they make me want to vomit in my mouth. I realize that every generation is going to "push the envelope" with how far to go with lyrics/TV shows/etc...but frankly, I'm a little tired of SLEAZE. It seems like it's gone BEYOND the typical sex, drugs, and rock and roll of the past three decades, and warped right into ridiculous slut-dom.

It's true. I'm not a prude. I had kids (yes, plural), as a teenager--which I'm not trying to make sound "cool" by any stretch of the imagination...because it wasn't. I'm not perfect. I'm not angelic. I'm just a little...well..."puked out" about what we deem acceptable as society today. I would venture to guess that the fact that I have older teenage children (19 and 17), coupled with the fact that I have a job where I help numerous teens bring babies into the world, makes me a little bit jaded and bitter with all the "sex pushing" our radio stations are allowing these days. It's all fun and games until you have to give up your body for 9 months, your life for 18 years, and watch your dreams spiral into the toilet once the product of your frivolous "sexcapades" comes to fruition. The old, "But mom!...Katy Perry said I could!" doesn't stand up particularly well in THE REAL WORLD, especially when you're dealing with a bunch of teen moms whose greatest career aspiration is going to be to perfect the saying, "Would you like fries with that?", because their future is now shot.



We're going to play a game called HERE IS THE SONG LYRIC, AND HERE IS WHAT WHITNEY HAS TO SAY ABOUT IT (keeping in mind that I'm not really a prude--until you call me that after you read what I've written here).

I'm going to pick on Katy Perry quite a bit. I really enjoy some of her songs, but she is certainly one to push the envelope with questionable song lyrics, and videos that have made me want to wash my eyeballs out with bleach by the end of them. Here are just a few lyrics that I don't particularly appreciate from her music, and what I think about them...

Katy Perry: "Sex on the beach, we don't mind sand in our stilettos..."

Whitney's Take: As a matter of fact, that sounds really annoying to me--not to mention it's damaging to your amazing footwear. I would hope that she's talking about the drink, SEX ON THE BEACH, but I'm also thinking, "not so much". I'm sure this gave a million horny teens the idea to go and "do it" in the sand and surf--not that most of them hadn't thought about it anyhow...only now it's ok to do because Katy Perry suggested it. Any idea how good sand is going to feel once it gets into every body orifice you have, kids? They really put a lot of emphasis on exfoliation these days. I'm sure it's amazing. Not to mention that sex on the beach would take PDA to a whole other level. One where all your nearest beach bum neighbors are screaming, "Get a room!".

The "Teenage Dream" video by Katy Perry was also enough to make me want to puke. Not only did I feel like I just watched an entire Katy Perry porno, but she literally had women in there, dancing around, and sucking very suggestively on Popsicles. Even my teenage daughter was like, "I totally could've done without seeing that." True story.

I'm going to dissect the entire song, "Last Friday Night, T.G.I.F" by Katy's a must. My comments are on the side of each lyric.

There's a stranger in my bed, (W: now have herpes and gonorrhea)
There's a pounding in my head (W: That's from doing naked keg stands--super classy and cool)
Glitter all over the room (W: This part I'm actually ok with)
Pink flamingos in the pool (W: This is fine by me, too)
I smell like a minibar (W: That's hot--Juicy Couture is overrated. Alcoholic bar fly smell is much better)
DJ's passed out in the yard (W: I'd ask for a refund...)
Barbie's on the barbeque (W: That's just sacrilegious in my opinion)
Is this a hickie or a bruise? (W: Ahhh...more super classy behavior. What fun is letting people suck on your neck, kids, if they don't leave you looking like a cheap hooker?)


Pictures of last night (W: Only friend people who are too poor to buy cameras)
Ended up online (W: Gotta love Facebook)
I'm screwed (W: Sounds like a personal problem. PS this is why you don't "friend" your coworkers)
Oh well (W: maturity showing through right here...)
It's a blacked out blur (W: That's fantastic...memory loss with alcohol consumption is highly encouraged)
But I'm pretty sure it ruled (W: What you can remember of it anyhow, right?)
Damn (W: Token 4-letter word)

Last Friday night (W: living in the past will take you nowhere fast)
Yeah we danced on tabletops (W:Because you were embracing your inner Coyote Ugly girl?, or you were training for the future upcoming Pole Dancing Olympics?)
And we took too many shots (W: Shots? What are you?...cowboys?)
Think we kissed but I forgot (W: But then I remembered long enough to write this song lyric and appreciate the new set of cold sores I've acquired by sucking face with random strangers and not being at all particular)

NEXT VERSE (it only gets better from here...)

Last Friday night (W: I'm listening...)
Yeah we maxed our credit cards (W: thank goodness we have someone singing about perpetuating American stupidity and digging yourself into a deep black hole of debt. I'm sure it was totally worth it for the shots, cowgirl...)
And got kicked out of the bar (W: Again...what fun is going out if you're not going to get unruly and thrown out of a place?)
So we hit the boulevard (W: Like all cheap hookers else are you going to find your daily dose of STDs if you don't get out there?)


Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park (W: I can just picture how "cool" it must be to get drunk and naked with your friends while running around a playground **yawn** pardon me)
Skinny dipping in the dark (At least you had the decency to wait until nobody could see your naked drunk self doing the 100 meter freestyle)
Then had a ménage à trois (W: Really? After all that, you still had energy to have sex with two people at one time? Not only is that super classy, but you must have had your Red Bull. And I just threw up in my mouth...)
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
(W: ya think? Glad you're encouraging it through song lyrics. I hear prison is fun. Especially the "Soap on a Rope" part of it)
Always say we're gonna stop (W: it's good to have goals I suppose...)

Trying to connect the dots (W: I hear fish oil tablets help enhance brain function)
Don't know what to tell my boss (W: don't worry--he already knows...he saw your Facebook page...and you're fired)
Think the city towed my car (W: Which is fine--you were too drunk to drive it anyhow)
Chandelier is on the floor (W: I realize it probably looked a lot like the monkey bars at the's an innocent mistake)
Ripped my favorite party dress (W: no one will know what a lady you are...)
Warrant's out for my arrest (W: if all goes well, maybe they'll give you a cellmate named Wanda who likes to cuddle)
Think I need a ginger ale (W: 12 shots ago, maybe...)
That was such an epic fail (W: I agree...)
So that was one of the stellar songs I'm talking about on the radio these days. No wonder our kids are turning out to be idiots. I know it seems I'm picking on Katy Perry--and she does have some songs I really like, but encouraging kids to be drunk, sex-crazed, delinquents really bothers me. Some people are probably like, "Lighten up, old lady!"...but I won't. I have standards, and it frustrates me that so many young people today do not.


I adore Bruno Mars. He has some of my favorite songs out there these days. I even whistle and head bob along to "Lazy Song". However, I'm not all about a few of his lyrics in there. I'm pretty sure you know the one I'm talking about...

"Tomorrow I'll Wake Up Do Some P90X
Meet A Really Nice Girl Have Some Really Nice Sex
She's Gonna Scream Out "This Is Great!" (Oh My God! This Is Great!)"

I'm totally down with the P90X thing, but but I could do without the lyrics that follow. Really? Do people do this? They just go out and "find" random people to have sex with? **SHIVER** I'm not really sure encouraging people to do this is such a good idea, Bruno. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure from listening to the song that the girl was rolling her eyeballs when she said that last little bit to you (OMG! This is great!). She sounded super enthused...


My oldest daughter wanted me to watch an episode of Jersey Shore with her one day. It was one of the most painful shows for me to make it through. I felt like I was watching cheap porn. And it makes me really sad because people actually aspire to be like the cast of this retarded show. I've seen so many white chick, wannabe Snookis running around with Bump Its in their's ridiculous. It does bother me that a show aimed at teens encourages so much RANDOM sex with bar strangers, and alcoholism. Some people are probably like, "They aren't alcoholics!" However, when all you do is drink all day, that's what they call it, kids! If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, then it must be a friggin' duck! GTL is going to be short lived. It will be GTR (Ghetto Trash Rehab) once the allure has worn off and these kids finally grow up. Nobody likes to watch drunk, leathery skinned, alcoholic, old people bumping uglies with their bar friends on TV. Their days are short lived, and they are encouraging kids to live hard and fast--with absolutely ZERO morals. I was bummed out I let my daughter record the series on my DVR. Now I'm going to get carpal tunnel from hitting the *delete* key 900 times to get rid of that trash.

The biggest song lyric that has me skeeved out these days is by Rihanna. I flip the channel every time it comes on. I work in health care. I smell a lot of smells associated with the human body. I'll be darned if I'm going to sit there and get jiggy with a lyric that says,

"Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it"

Seriously?...I just yacked in my mouth. Who would come up with this lyric? Yes, the entire line of Ralph Lauren perfume is out of style this year, people. Sweaty,wet grossness with a hint of B.O. is in. Rhianna said so. Not only that, but she doesn't just LIKE the smell of it...she LOVES it. Now that's just a class act right there...

Not only that, but with that fire red, Ronald McDonald hair, I'm surprised she doesn't just smell french fries and Chicken McNuggets all day.
I could gripe until the hypothetical cows come home about the trash out there these days. Maybe it's no different then it was in the past, and the only reason I'm recognizing it now is because I have access to so many radio stations, and 10,000 channels on my DirecTV. I think after what I went through as a teen mom that it really does scare me to see our teens being sold on such trashy lifestyles through music and television. It's hard when you're a teenager, or even young adult, to understand the full future implications of all of your actions. From jail, to rehab, to single parenthood--there's nothing glamorous about any of this. STDs are running rampant--I should know...I see it all the time in my line of work. It just seems like we are marketing all the wrong stuff these days. Like I've said before, I'm not wholesome, and pure. I do, however, know what it's like to be pushing a baby stroller around while all of my school friends are having fun going to movies, and driving their new cars, while simultaneously preparing to leave for college. Living hard and fast sucks so much potential out of life. It would be nice if these TV and radio icons would find something else to write about, or promote. I'm just sayin'...

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to peelin' potatoes in my rockin' chair on my front porch.

PS Does my new outfit make me look fat?

1 comment:

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