Saturday, July 16, 2011

Where, Oh Where Have We Gone Wrong? A Blog About Lowering Our Standards As A Society So We Can Be The "Cool Kids"


What is the matter with us? I’m talking about society as a whole. Where have we gone wrong? Why are all “bets off "as far as what we fill our lives, ears, and eyeballs with these days? I’m all about being “yourself”, and being "liberated"--hell, I'm a democrat for heaven's sake. However, I’m either getting older, and much more “geriatric” and "old fashioned", or I am just stunned by the stupidity of things we find acceptable to fill our lives with these days.
"Whitney, what are you lecturing us on today?" Well...I'll tell you. Call me a prude, but I've actually been switching the radio station these days when certain songs come on, as well as refusing to watch giant piles of smut that my teens think is "AWESOME" on the TV. Why? Because they make me want to vomit in my mouth. I realize that every generation is going to "push the envelope" with how far to go with lyrics/TV shows/etc...but frankly, I'm a little tired of SLEAZE. It seems like it's gone BEYOND the typical sex, drugs, and rock and roll of the past three decades, and warped right into ridiculous slut-dom.

It's true. I'm not a prude. I had kids (yes, plural), as a teenager--which I'm not trying to make sound "cool" by any stretch of the imagination...because it wasn't. I'm not perfect. I'm not angelic. I'm just a little...well..."puked out" about what we deem acceptable as society today. I would venture to guess that the fact that I have older teenage children (19 and 17), coupled with the fact that I have a job where I help numerous teens bring babies into the world, makes me a little bit jaded and bitter with all the "sex pushing" our radio stations are allowing these days. It's all fun and games until you have to give up your body for 9 months, your life for 18 years, and watch your dreams spiral into the toilet once the product of your frivolous "sexcapades" comes to fruition. The old, "But mom!...Katy Perry said I could!" doesn't stand up particularly well in THE REAL WORLD, especially when you're dealing with a bunch of teen moms whose greatest career aspiration is going to be to perfect the saying, "Would you like fries with that?", because their future is now shot.



We're going to play a game called HERE IS THE SONG LYRIC, AND HERE IS WHAT WHITNEY HAS TO SAY ABOUT IT (keeping in mind that I'm not really a prude--until you call me that after you read what I've written here).

I'm going to pick on Katy Perry quite a bit. I really enjoy some of her songs, but she is certainly one to push the envelope with questionable song lyrics, and videos that have made me want to wash my eyeballs out with bleach by the end of them. Here are just a few lyrics that I don't particularly appreciate from her music, and what I think about them...

Katy Perry: "Sex on the beach, we don't mind sand in our stilettos..."

Whitney's Take: As a matter of fact, that sounds really annoying to me--not to mention it's damaging to your amazing footwear. I would hope that she's talking about the drink, SEX ON THE BEACH, but I'm also thinking, "not so much". I'm sure this gave a million horny teens the idea to go and "do it" in the sand and surf--not that most of them hadn't thought about it anyhow...only now it's ok to do because Katy Perry suggested it. Any idea how good sand is going to feel once it gets into every body orifice you have, kids? They really put a lot of emphasis on exfoliation these days. I'm sure it's amazing. Not to mention that sex on the beach would take PDA to a whole other level. One where all your nearest beach bum neighbors are screaming, "Get a room!".

The "Teenage Dream" video by Katy Perry was also enough to make me want to puke. Not only did I feel like I just watched an entire Katy Perry porno, but she literally had women in there, dancing around, and sucking very suggestively on Popsicles. Even my teenage daughter was like, "I totally could've done without seeing that." True story.

I'm going to dissect the entire song, "Last Friday Night, T.G.I.F" by Katy's a must. My comments are on the side of each lyric.

There's a stranger in my bed, (W: now have herpes and gonorrhea)
There's a pounding in my head (W: That's from doing naked keg stands--super classy and cool)
Glitter all over the room (W: This part I'm actually ok with)
Pink flamingos in the pool (W: This is fine by me, too)
I smell like a minibar (W: That's hot--Juicy Couture is overrated. Alcoholic bar fly smell is much better)
DJ's passed out in the yard (W: I'd ask for a refund...)
Barbie's on the barbeque (W: That's just sacrilegious in my opinion)
Is this a hickie or a bruise? (W: Ahhh...more super classy behavior. What fun is letting people suck on your neck, kids, if they don't leave you looking like a cheap hooker?)


Pictures of last night (W: Only friend people who are too poor to buy cameras)
Ended up online (W: Gotta love Facebook)
I'm screwed (W: Sounds like a personal problem. PS this is why you don't "friend" your coworkers)
Oh well (W: maturity showing through right here...)
It's a blacked out blur (W: That's fantastic...memory loss with alcohol consumption is highly encouraged)
But I'm pretty sure it ruled (W: What you can remember of it anyhow, right?)
Damn (W: Token 4-letter word)

Last Friday night (W: living in the past will take you nowhere fast)
Yeah we danced on tabletops (W:Because you were embracing your inner Coyote Ugly girl?, or you were training for the future upcoming Pole Dancing Olympics?)
And we took too many shots (W: Shots? What are you?...cowboys?)
Think we kissed but I forgot (W: But then I remembered long enough to write this song lyric and appreciate the new set of cold sores I've acquired by sucking face with random strangers and not being at all particular)

NEXT VERSE (it only gets better from here...)

Last Friday night (W: I'm listening...)
Yeah we maxed our credit cards (W: thank goodness we have someone singing about perpetuating American stupidity and digging yourself into a deep black hole of debt. I'm sure it was totally worth it for the shots, cowgirl...)
And got kicked out of the bar (W: Again...what fun is going out if you're not going to get unruly and thrown out of a place?)
So we hit the boulevard (W: Like all cheap hookers else are you going to find your daily dose of STDs if you don't get out there?)


Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park (W: I can just picture how "cool" it must be to get drunk and naked with your friends while running around a playground **yawn** pardon me)
Skinny dipping in the dark (At least you had the decency to wait until nobody could see your naked drunk self doing the 100 meter freestyle)
Then had a ménage à trois (W: Really? After all that, you still had energy to have sex with two people at one time? Not only is that super classy, but you must have had your Red Bull. And I just threw up in my mouth...)
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
(W: ya think? Glad you're encouraging it through song lyrics. I hear prison is fun. Especially the "Soap on a Rope" part of it)
Always say we're gonna stop (W: it's good to have goals I suppose...)

Trying to connect the dots (W: I hear fish oil tablets help enhance brain function)
Don't know what to tell my boss (W: don't worry--he already knows...he saw your Facebook page...and you're fired)
Think the city towed my car (W: Which is fine--you were too drunk to drive it anyhow)
Chandelier is on the floor (W: I realize it probably looked a lot like the monkey bars at the's an innocent mistake)
Ripped my favorite party dress (W: no one will know what a lady you are...)
Warrant's out for my arrest (W: if all goes well, maybe they'll give you a cellmate named Wanda who likes to cuddle)
Think I need a ginger ale (W: 12 shots ago, maybe...)
That was such an epic fail (W: I agree...)
So that was one of the stellar songs I'm talking about on the radio these days. No wonder our kids are turning out to be idiots. I know it seems I'm picking on Katy Perry--and she does have some songs I really like, but encouraging kids to be drunk, sex-crazed, delinquents really bothers me. Some people are probably like, "Lighten up, old lady!"...but I won't. I have standards, and it frustrates me that so many young people today do not.


I adore Bruno Mars. He has some of my favorite songs out there these days. I even whistle and head bob along to "Lazy Song". However, I'm not all about a few of his lyrics in there. I'm pretty sure you know the one I'm talking about...

"Tomorrow I'll Wake Up Do Some P90X
Meet A Really Nice Girl Have Some Really Nice Sex
She's Gonna Scream Out "This Is Great!" (Oh My God! This Is Great!)"

I'm totally down with the P90X thing, but but I could do without the lyrics that follow. Really? Do people do this? They just go out and "find" random people to have sex with? **SHIVER** I'm not really sure encouraging people to do this is such a good idea, Bruno. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure from listening to the song that the girl was rolling her eyeballs when she said that last little bit to you (OMG! This is great!). She sounded super enthused...


My oldest daughter wanted me to watch an episode of Jersey Shore with her one day. It was one of the most painful shows for me to make it through. I felt like I was watching cheap porn. And it makes me really sad because people actually aspire to be like the cast of this retarded show. I've seen so many white chick, wannabe Snookis running around with Bump Its in their's ridiculous. It does bother me that a show aimed at teens encourages so much RANDOM sex with bar strangers, and alcoholism. Some people are probably like, "They aren't alcoholics!" However, when all you do is drink all day, that's what they call it, kids! If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, then it must be a friggin' duck! GTL is going to be short lived. It will be GTR (Ghetto Trash Rehab) once the allure has worn off and these kids finally grow up. Nobody likes to watch drunk, leathery skinned, alcoholic, old people bumping uglies with their bar friends on TV. Their days are short lived, and they are encouraging kids to live hard and fast--with absolutely ZERO morals. I was bummed out I let my daughter record the series on my DVR. Now I'm going to get carpal tunnel from hitting the *delete* key 900 times to get rid of that trash.

The biggest song lyric that has me skeeved out these days is by Rihanna. I flip the channel every time it comes on. I work in health care. I smell a lot of smells associated with the human body. I'll be darned if I'm going to sit there and get jiggy with a lyric that says,

"Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it"

Seriously?...I just yacked in my mouth. Who would come up with this lyric? Yes, the entire line of Ralph Lauren perfume is out of style this year, people. Sweaty,wet grossness with a hint of B.O. is in. Rhianna said so. Not only that, but she doesn't just LIKE the smell of it...she LOVES it. Now that's just a class act right there...

Not only that, but with that fire red, Ronald McDonald hair, I'm surprised she doesn't just smell french fries and Chicken McNuggets all day.
I could gripe until the hypothetical cows come home about the trash out there these days. Maybe it's no different then it was in the past, and the only reason I'm recognizing it now is because I have access to so many radio stations, and 10,000 channels on my DirecTV. I think after what I went through as a teen mom that it really does scare me to see our teens being sold on such trashy lifestyles through music and television. It's hard when you're a teenager, or even young adult, to understand the full future implications of all of your actions. From jail, to rehab, to single parenthood--there's nothing glamorous about any of this. STDs are running rampant--I should know...I see it all the time in my line of work. It just seems like we are marketing all the wrong stuff these days. Like I've said before, I'm not wholesome, and pure. I do, however, know what it's like to be pushing a baby stroller around while all of my school friends are having fun going to movies, and driving their new cars, while simultaneously preparing to leave for college. Living hard and fast sucks so much potential out of life. It would be nice if these TV and radio icons would find something else to write about, or promote. I'm just sayin'...

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to peelin' potatoes in my rockin' chair on my front porch.

PS Does my new outfit make me look fat?

Monday, July 11, 2011

The Big Maui News: Silence, You Hecklers--Never Have I Been More Happy to Renege on a Previous Blog Posting

Remember Wayne's World? Remember the scene where they played the hockey game on the street? Every time a car would head toward their street hockey game Wayne, or Garth, would yell, "Game off!"--then Wayne and Garth would pick up the hockey goal from the middle of the road, drag it to the edge of the sidewalk, let the car pass, then grab the goal and drag it back into the middle of the street and yell, "Game on!", drag the dumb net to the middle of the street, and start playing hockey again. This is very much like my relationship with the Cute Alaskan Man. "Game on!" or "Game off!"-- I'm not going to lie--we've suffered our fair share of break-ups and reunions. Each time we would break up I was CERTAIN it would be the last. Each time I prove myself WRONG. I wrote my blog, "And They Lived Happily Ever After--At Least That Was The Hypothesis" last week after our most recent break up. I was heartbroken. I booked my self-pity, Jennifer Aniston recovery trip to Maui. I was convinced I was going to hit the island and be by myself to "recover" from my break-up. Then it started raining last week. I got stuck in flood water on the way to work. It took me 2.5 hours to get to work--and I was late. Traffic was at a complete standstill. While I was sitting in the middle of a huge puddle--my telephone rang. It was the Cute Alaskan Man.

Silence, hecklers! I know some of you are rolling your eyes and saying, "DUDE--what the heck is the matter with you? First of all, I'm a dude-ette...not a dude. Second...I'm in love. Ever been there? It's not always bump-free, and it's never dull and boring. I also challenge some hecklers to try to imagine what it takes to keep a long distance relationship alive for three years that involves not just 2 people--but 6 people (that would include me, the Cute Alaskan Man, Paige, Beau, Emma, and Chloe--or as I like to call my posse). Can you imagine how many hours of phone time and texting it takes to keep up a three year, long distance relationship? Can you imagine the patience it takes to wait 3-4 months to see the person you care so deeply about in between visits? Can you imagine how unfortunate it is to age in time lapse every time you see your boyfriend?--Because I'm pretty sure that it's not so hot.These are only a few of the obstacles that are faced on a daily basis with two people who are "going the distance". It's difficult. Not only is it hard on Tristan and me, but it's hard on everyone involved. I'm not just talking about my kids, either. I'm talking about my kids, our friends, and our families--because they all have to deal with how crazy being 3,000 miles apart makes us. It's a team effort, for sure. I'm sure if we end up making it to the "happily ever after" finish line, that we will be receiving a bill from all of our friends and family who are charging us for their therapeutic interventions along the way.

*Drum roll please* bap bap bap bap bap bap: Tristan and I are going to Maui in two weeks. That's the big news. In the words of Wayne and Garth from Wayne's World, "GAME ON!!!". And to be honest with you, there is nobody I would rather spend time on a moonlit beach with than my Cute Alaskan Man.

I'm not going to go into all the details of WHY we are back together. We are level headed adults who can fumble our way through this 3,000 mile dilemma without having to drag the entire world into it with us. Just know that it seems more on track and headed in a better direction at this point--and honestly, in life, that's all you can really ask for.

I am thankful for the flood that happened the other day on my way to work. It gave me 2.5 hours to hash things out with the Cute Alaskan Man, and gave me the most incredible person in the world to share an airline seat next to on my way to Maui--not to mention 9 days in Maui/Seattle with him. Oh...and did I mention he's a really good cook? He's already promised to cook me shrimp on the barbie while we are there. He actually said, "I'll load up a whole barbecue full of those little suckers for you!"...cuz he's that sweet. :)

Oh, and yes...he is still building the house up in Alaska. And he did just buy a boat up there. I think he should name the boat, "Deal Breaker"--just to humor me. It can be our little joke--ok...well ours, and anyone else who reads this blog.

Thanks to all who listen to my gripes and groans. It's not easy, but apparently I have really strong fingernails because I'M HANGIN' IN THERE. Picture me grabbing a hockey goal, moving it back out into the middle of the street, and saying, "GAME ON!". Oh...and PS ALOHA!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Ooops, I Did It Again: Why I Need to be Banned From Attempting to Chill Beverages in my Freezer

Thank you, Britney Spears, for giving me such an appropriate song title for my blog today. O-M-G, my inner Homer Simpson has been showing itself in full force lately. The "DOH!" factor is alive and well in the life of Whitney. If you saw my blog, ""Pardon Me, Miss, But Would You Care For Chards Of Glass With Your Merlot Tonight?": Why Tired Blonde Girls Should Be Banned From The Freezer Sometimes", you would realize that I have a tendency to put beverages in my freezer in an attempt to chill them at lightning speed, walk away thinking I will remember they are in there, and then I promptly forget, they freeze, blow up, and I'm left with a huge mess. The last time I did this I blew up a 1.5L bottle of merlot because I put it in the freezer, decided I was too tired to have a glass of wine, forgot it was in the freezer, and went to bed. There was glass EVERYWHERE, not to mention it dripped down into my refrigerator and made a huge merlot colored mess in there, too. The twins and I spent an entire morning cleaning out the entire refrigerator and freezer. It was unbelievable.

Fast forward to day before yesterday. I woke up and realized I had forgotten to chill Diet Pepsi to take to work with me. I loaded the freezer up with three cans and thought to myself, "Oh, no need to set the timer...I'll be taking one out to have on my way to work so THIS TIME I'LL REMEMBER FOR SURE THAT I HAVE SODA IN THE FREEZER!" Um...yeah. I forgot. Actually, that's not true--I remembered right as I was pulling onto C-470 to head to work. I would've been late to work if I had turned around to fix the situation, so I just kept right on driving. **insert Homer Simpson, "DOH!! DOH!! DOH!!"** Yes, I am a blonde girl. A very, very blonde girl.

I came home and opened my freezer to find exactly what I thought I would see. Holy crap--that stuff EXPLODED. Now I have a huge mess in my freezer again, and I'm out three more cans of Diet Pepsi. I am trying to figure out why I keep doing this. There HAS to be a better way for me to make things cold at rapid speed without blowing them up. Not only that, but I'm starting to really resent my entire refrigerator/freezer appliance as a whole. I'm am, however, getting really flippin' good at cleaning it out. It reminds me of that quote, "Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it". Apparently I'm "one of those" people. I am doomed, what can I say?

The good news? I'm moving in a couple of weeks and would've had to clean out the freezer again anyway. The bad news? My new house has a freezer in it and I'm sure it's just a matter of time before I start blowing up beverages in that one. Someday I'll learn to set my timer as a friendly reminder to myself that I'm chilling beverages. Someday...

I hope my blog makes people feel normal. You know--like, "Oh I'm glad I'm normal and I'm not like THAT girl." Pity if it doesn't. I really do feel like the girl in "50 First Dates". Yup. That would be me...

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

On a More Serious Note--Thank You To Everyone Who Makes This Blog So Much Fun To Write :)

Ok, now you've really done it. See how serious my face is? I'm kidding--although I must say, I am writing this because I am completely thrilled at the response to my blog. The past two months have surpassed anything I thought was remotely possible with the amount of hits I've received--and the fact that anyone really cares about the things I blah-dee blah blog about on this site is completely stunning to me. I have literally had thousands of hits per month from all over the world. It has been a ton of fun for me to see my blog evolve and grow into what I consider a personal success.

I started this blog a little over a year ago. I used to send out a "Friday Quote List" to all of my friends via email that would compile the hilarious things they had said to me the previous week. I also used to caption funny photos I would find on the internet as part of the Friday Quote List (no, that really wasn't me in the melon colored bathing suit in last week's post, even though I said it was). I love that I can do this now through my blog, and actually make people laugh. I love the responses I get from my friends on Facebook when I post links to my blog--you guys make it all worth while. I'm also a bit of a dork (shocking, I know)--most of the time I'm laughing as I'm writing it. What can I say? I entertain myself from time to time. From the U.S., to the UK, to Malaysia, Chile, Ireland and France (to name a few), Blah-dee Blah Blah Blah-dee Blah Blah Blog has really taken off...thanks to all of you. 

I love looking at the map of the different countries where I get blog hits from daily. I don't think there's a country on the map who hasn't stopped by my blog at one point or another. It's also been a GREAT way to stay in touch with family and friends, and to keep you updated on the happenings in the crazy, yet totally fun (at times) "Life of Whitney".

As most of you know, anything is fair game on my blog. I try to avoid bringing a ton of controversy into my blog, or blatantly offending people, and I like to keep it fairly clean. I don't think you need to be dirty to be funny. Comedy Central has yet to receive this memo, but my blog will continue to be a good mix of funny with classy--without being dreadfully boring (and NO, you're not allowed to get mad at me or think I was tacky for making fun of the Blasphemy Triplets in last week's post--that was aimed at them, not Jesus).

I hope you all continue to enjoy this blog as much as I enjoy writing it. It's a great outlet for all the goofy thoughts that go through my mind. Anyone who knows me knows that the only way I make it through this life is to laugh through it. My house is my own version of Comedy Central. My children are a chip off the old block--there's not a whole lot of "serious" going on in my home unless it's absolutely necessary. Paige and I were making dinner last week and we were going back and forth about something, and she literally had me laughing so hard I was crying, and could barely stand up. From Costco, to kids, to padded bikini tops from Abercrombie--there's always going to be something for me to blog about. Although this may scare some people, I find it thrilling. :)

Thanks again to all of you who take the time to read this. I completely appreciate it and look forward to taking it beyond the success it has already achieved. 

I Didn't Know Charlie Brown's Mom Worked at Wells Fargo Bank: How My Banking Adventure, After Twelve Hours at the Hospital, Almost Turned Ugly

Perhaps I am just a little bit tired these days, or maybe it is true that people just get grumpier the older they get. I know I'm still in my 30s, but sometimes I wonder--at what age do I get to start throwing adult temper tantrums "legally" like they did in "Grumpy Old Men"? I'm totally kidding--ok, mostly kidding, anyway.

I felt like throwing one this morning when I opened up my online banking on the computer and found what I like to call my "Wells Fargo Surprise". This is when they take transactions that were posted last week, do nothing with them over the holiday weekend, and then tell you that, even though they are in business TODAY (which is now a TUESDAY), that your transaction is still PENDING and will be posted to your account TOMORROW (which will be WEDNESDAY). Normally this wouldn't be a huge issue--except for the fact that I had a meeting with a property manager at 10:00 this morning, and they were really looking forward to seeing me. I'm suspicious it was because I was bringing them money, but maybe they just really like me--only time will tell.

I had just finished a very busy night at work. It was the 4th of July, and in true 4th of July fashion, babies were shooting out like rockets' red glare. It's not generally a problem, unless you fail to catch them--which didn't happen. However, sleep deprivation, and general disenchantment with the Universe and all its offerings did set in at about 8:00 a.m.. This was right about the time I received my "Wells Fargo Surprise" and decided to call their 1-800 number to say, "Good morning! where's some of my money?".

I got my favorite thing in the world upon calling them--the automated voice system that tries to direct my call via "robot woman" voice. Only this morning it was particularly special because it sounded like Marty Moose after Clark Griswold punched him in the face in National Lampoon's, "Vacation". I couldn't understand a single thing "The Voice" was trying to say. It sounded like someone was crumpling paper in my ear, coupled with a little bit of Charlie Brown's mom's voice, "Mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa mwa...". You can only imagine how much fun I was having by this point. I have to admit--I was pretty frustrated, and could totally understand why Clark Griswold did what he did to Marty Moose. If Wells Fargo had a wildebeest mascot I would've been dreaming of doing the same thing to it (oh hush--I wouldn't really punch a plastic wildebeest in the face...besides, I don't think they have a wildebeest as a mascot to begin with. I've never even heard of the Wells Fargo Wildebeest. If they do have one, he's not on any of my bank statements in the upper left corner...).

I'm going to be honest with you--I am an automated voice bypass cheater. I will get on there and listen to "The Voice" only long enough to hit zero so I can get through to a REAL LIVE PERSON immediately. I'm not going to sit there and torture myself by going through 900 voice options, and actually trying to speak to a robot to get the answers that I need about my finances. I liken automated voice systems to the cop-out, cheesy, self-checkout lanes in grocery stores. If I wanted to pack my own groceries I would've gone to the University of City Market and learned how to do it properly so my poultry doesn't end up in the same bag as my Comet cleanser. Absolutely not-gonna-do-it. Those of you who know me know how painful it is for me to go grocery shopping in the first place. I despise grocery shopping. I have to dress in high end fashion and stilettos just to make it tolerable. The last thing I want to do when I get done loading my grocery cart is scroll through a touch screen computer screen that makes me look over 50 kinds of lettuce to see which one I have lying on the scale in front of me in the self-checkout. Not only that, but then they usually call in the grocery police to reset my computer because I set something down too early, or too late in my grocery sack. If I have to have staff assistance in self-checkout, then BY ALL MEANS, just finish the job and pack me up properly yourself.

I digress--I think making people talk to robots is ridiculous. It's a total time suck, and it's frustrating--kind of like self checkout with groceries. In theory it might be faster, but it takes about 4X as long as doing it the old fashioned way (See--I really am getting old. Next I'll be saying, "Back when I was growing up...")

Back to the Wells Fargo fun line: I finally got through to a banker, who still sounded like they were talking to me through a bowl of Rice Krispies, and it was so bad that I had to hang up. This was pretty much after they told me that SNAP**"We can't**CRACKLE**help you*POP**anyway"** Ok, fine then...peace out, homies--I'm going to one-up you again and actually go to my bank  and not only TALK to a real person, but SEE one as well! Imagine that!

I ended up at the bank where a very nice gentleman was able to help me realize what Snap, Crackle, and Pop had already done via the Charlie Brown's Mom phone--he couldn't help me. However, fear not! I was able to finagle a way to overcome my obstacle and make my meeting by 10 a.m. All is well in the universe least for a few minutes.

So what have we learned from all of this? We've learned that transactions posted on Friday will become available in your account on Wednesday--especially if there is a holiday weekend involved. We've learned that punching plastic moose and wildebeests in the face will get you nowhere in this life, other than in National Lampoon's "Vacation", or a one-way ticket into the loony bin. We've learned how to bypass automated banking systems by simply pressing "0", and we've learned that self-checkout lines are for suckers who aren't trained professionals but the store wants you to do all of your own manual labor. We've also learned that blonde, Norwegian chicks should not attempt anything related to banking after working overnight at the hospital--especially if they happen to be named, "Whitney".

The good news is that I'm going to bed now, so you can stop reading this wealth of knowledge and proceed with your day. ;)

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Short, Sweet, and a Little Bit Crazy--A Little Blog About My Crazy Life

I was having a conversation with a gal last night who has a friend with a crazy, chaotic life. She told me that she finally said to her friend at one point, "Do you think that you attract drama in your life?". It made me think. I was like, "HEY!...that sounds familiar!!!" That other girl might have said, "NO", but I will say that I think this may be very true for me.

I ran into my pastor today at the grocery store. He gave me a big hug and said, "Hey, Whitney! How are you? Anything new?" I replied, "Yes--I bought a new car, broke up with my boyfriend, booked a trip to Maui the end of this month, I just found out I'm moving on July 15th, and you know that guy, Richard, who we attend church with?--he has a son who lives in Maui, so I will be meeting him while I am there."My pastor just shook his head with a smile on his face and said, "I should've have known better than to ask!!!".

I thought about what I had just said to him. It IS crazy. Basically, everything I told him has only happened within the past 4 weeks of my life. And the sad part is--this is kind of "baseline crazy" for how my life runs.

**SHRUG**: Oh well, just another day-in-the-life of Whitney. ;)