Wednesday, May 25, 2011
You Got To Know When To Hold 'Em, Know When to Fold 'Em, Know When To Walk Away, And Know When To Run: A Blog About When Friendship Heads South, and Staying True To Yourself
Some of you may remember my blog that I posted titled, "Ahhhhhh Facebook--Without You I'd Probably Just Have A Normal, Boring Social Life". In that post I had written about how I had actually either "friended" or had been "friended" by a few people on Facebook in an attempt to get to know my boyfriend's family and friends from 3,000 miles away. This worked out well for a little while. I felt like I got to know some things about them from long distance that I never would've known otherwise (did I mention I'm in a long distance relationship?...because I am). I also found out that they are very decent people. We don't have a whole lot in common, but I always enjoyed their posts, and pictures, witty comments, etc.
"Well where is the problem??? Sounds like a GREAT way to meet people, get to know them, and forge friendships!" Oh contraire (whoever you are talking to me like you're not me talking here)!!! I suppose it would be a great way to start new friendships, assuming I didn't feel like I had to filter every single thing I was thinking and feeling in order to impress them, or to simply not offend them. I felt like I had to be on my best behavior all the time. I liken it to Princess Kate. Can you imagine what it must be like to be her? To have to be at the top of your game all the time so you never look bad? I'm sure she had tripped, stubbed her toe in front of the Queen Mum at some point and said in her mind, "OH "F"!!!...that hurt!!" but she couldn't say it. Or that little peck of a kiss she gave William on their wedding day so as not to offend the masses and give them anything to talk about in the tabloids. This is exactly how I was feeling with my "game face" on and having Tristan's friends and family watching me from 3,000 miles away on a social website. I just wanted to be myself--and I felt like I had to be perfect.
Shall I bust out in song now? "I want to be me! I just have to be me!!!" *twirl*spin*stag's leap* You're welcome.
I tend to be highly opinionated, and I generally like to speak my mind. When the "mute" button gets hit I don't feel so great about things. I've been "muted" for a long time in an effort to get to know people in Tristan's life. The fact that his friends and his family are important to him make them important to me. I just don't know how to mesh the people in his life into my life and into my relationship at times. It gets frustrating. It's not always a good fit.
I remember getting on Facebook one day and having an entire conversation about my old engagement ring from Tiffany & CO with one of my friends who I grew up with. Because I had "friended" people who I didn't know on Facebook I immediately got the "inbox" messages, like, Do you think by posting all this about your ring that your boyfriend will get the hint?" What hint? Did I?...I just missed something. How did this become a "hint" supposedly directed at him? Not the case. Goodness knows that I'm super outspoken. If I want to give my boyfriend a hint about things I'll just let it fly right out of my mouth and smack him upside the head--true "Whitney Style". I don't need a "Facebook Liaison" to do it. So NO...I was not "hinting" that I wanted my boyfriend to propose to me because I was talking about my love for my old engagement ring with my friend on Facebook. This is the same engagement ring I had just written about in my "Hey Little Girl--You Want Some Champagne" post. The one I recently had re-sized into a right hand ring because I adore it THAT much. This is just one example of how it can get uncomfortable with people "watching" you and trying to get to know you through a social website. It doesn't work very well.
There is a lot to be said for staying true to yourself. Whether it be about a job, a friendship, or a relationship, it is important to be truly genuine. That may ruffle some feathers along the way, but staying true to yourself does have benefits. The peace of mind that comes with knowing you don't have to be someone you are not makes it all worth it.
This girl will be "kickin' it old school" from now on when it comes to "meeting the friends and the family" in my relationship. I'm switching back to the good old days of snail mail and seeing people on vacations. I'll be like the Stealth Bomber and "fly under the radar" from 3,000 miles away. I think Taio Cruz said it best when he said, "I want to celebrate and live my life, singing Ay-o, baby let's go..."
You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run. Thank you, Kenny Rogers. That's good advice.